The secret anxiety drama queen - that's me [Monday, Aug. 30, 2004, 5:30 pm]
Had my first day of college today. And I didn't die. Imagine that.
When I first woke up I was really nervous. A few times I wondered if I'd be sick. But I wasn't. I listened to JG on the way down. Wow, I'm starting to call him JG now - I wonder if that means anything ;-)
I don't understand why I get so irrationally anxious about things like this. I really do have a logical side to me, it's just that my other side usually takes over in situations like this. Sometimes I just ask myself, "Come on now - what's the worst thing that could possibly happen?"
Not a good idea - I can come up with plenty. But why? I'd visited 2 college classes before this, and followed along fine. Sometimes I remind myself of Anne of Green Gables, when her and Diana are walking through the dark woods, and she's going over all these ghost stories she knows, etc. If she had just walked right through the dark woods, she would have been fine, but her imagination over-dramatized it.
Well, I'm hoping that I'll be less anxious for my next classes, now that I know what to expect. Because now I have even more to worry about: My road test is scheduled for September 16th!!!! AAHHH!! *dies*
Sorry. I'm not usually this bad - usually I don't start freaking out until the event is only about 1 week away, not 2.
Anxiety seems so ridiculous when I look at the bigger picture. Someday I'll be 30 and my driver's test will be such a small little dot on the map of my life. Someday I'm going to laugh at myself for being such a scardie cat before my History 103 class. So why worry about it now?
I ask myself what I can possibly gain from worrying, and am unable to answer myself. And yet I still do it.
Sheesh, I've been over this so many times. Hopefully I won't have to go over it again until September 16th. (AAAHH!)
"Remember, today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday."-Dale Carnegie-
Vitality - Tuesday, Aug. 11, 2009