Not yet a woman [Sunday, Aug. 29, 2004, 4:06 pm]
This is it. My last day of - freedom? I don't like to call it that, because college does incorporate freedoms. This isn't high school anymore - I'm paying for it, so I really shouldn't refer to it as some type of jail. All right, I'll call this my last day of laziness. That works. Although I doubt it will prove true.
Everything is starting to come together now. Today after church we had our last Awana meeting before Awana starts. I've only looked on it as a giving of my time - 2 hours each week - to help minister to kids. But today it looked a lot more complicated than that. It's definitely a good-sized commitment.
I feel rather weird being the only teenage Awana leader in the church. The rest of them are probably all 30+. I wish there were more teenagers in this church. Or better yet, teenagers that actually got involved in things, instead of just sitting in the very back and leaving the moment the service is over.
I also feel like I'm - growing up, in a way. Legally, I'm a woman now. I can vote. I can be an Awana leader. I can be a volunteer in our church nursery now, instead of just a 'helper'. But to me I'm still a girl. I just can't call myself a woman - that sounds so weird to me.
Forgive me for quoting someone like Britney Spears, but this is one of the few songs of hers that I actually like, because I can relate to it:
"I'm not a girl
A moment that is mine - that's how I feel. It's not as if I turn 18 and all of a sudden, bang! I'm a woman! I don't think growing up is something that happens in a day. It takes time. For some of us, it takes a lot of time. And nobody should be made to feel ashamed of how long it takes them. We're all different.
PS. I'm in the process of redoing my profile - soon, my comments on everything will be quotes - because I'm so in love with quotes. I'm weird.
Vitality - Tuesday, Aug. 11, 2009