Vitality [Tuesday, Aug. 11, 2009, 9:54 pm]
Sometimes it's hard to trust that I'm in the right place when I feel like I'm not vital to anyone or anything. That seems to be such a weakness at times... this need to be needed... to feel as though I'm providing some sort of vital service to someone or something. I'm not saying I'm not important. I know I am. But I could be vital, and at this point I'm really not. I see so many other people who are... in their daily lives, providing some kind of necessary duties to people, namely children or immediate families. I know that's not exactly sunshine and rainbows, but it's a way to provide nurture to someone in a way that no one else can. I take care of a cat. Whoop-dee-do.
I can't always have what I want, and I need to be thankful for that. I need to trust. And realize that I may not always be looking to the right source for such things. No person or mere task is going to make me fulfilled in and of itself. Only God can. I know that. I do...
Just...there are times when I'm deceived about that, and I need to write about it to get it out of my system and re-focus myself. Thanks for listening.
It was a beautiful letdown - Monday, Nov. 30, 2009