Don't look at me [Tuesday, Dec. 06, 2005, 6:34 pm]
If those who think of it could keep me in their prayers around 10 a.m. tomorrow, it would be appreciated - I'll be doing my first of 3 "presentations" in class. I only have to talk for 5 minutes, but I'm one of these people who fears public speaking more than death, so it's not as easy for me as it would be for most normal people.
I just want to be able to say what I need to say without feeling like I have to rush through it, or talking funny because of anxiety, as I sometimes do. I don't even write myself notes like normal people - I write out pretty much exactly what I'm planning to say. If I just wrote notes, then I'd end up getting up there, going blank, and basically reading my notes with little or nothing added to them, then sitting back down and suddenly realizing what I should have said, after the nervousness goes away.
It's a completely irrational fear. I just get very uncomfortable when more than a few people are looking at me at once, for any reason. Even breaking a glass beaker in chem lab like I did yesterday made my face get really hot.
Yeah, it's strange. I'm thinking if I just try to keep a nonchalant attitude about it, it might help. And keep telling myself not to rush.
Well, I'm sure I'll be fine. It's like the driver's test - I freaked out about it for weeks, but now I drive all the time and it's no big deal anymore. Not that I'm ever expecting to become a proficient public speaker; I just don't think things are usually as anxiety-worthy as I treat them sometimes.
Vitality - Tuesday, Aug. 11, 2009