I'm not famous [Wednesday, May. 17, 2006, 1:46 pm]
Sometimes I wonder what it would be like to be famous, but most of the time I'm just so glad that I'm not. Don't you feel sorry for these people who can't go anywhere without the media critiquing their every move? Imagine how hard it must be to keep a relationship together if you can't leave your home without being surrounded by paparazzi, or can't choose an outfit without worrying what all the tabloids will say about it.
Nope. If I spend the rest of my life as an unknown in a little town in Maine, with nothing but the internet to connect me to the real world (okay, I'm kidding about that last part) - then it's okay with me. It would be one thing if the fame came as a result of doing something great that somehow gave help to people who needed it, or saved someone's life. But I really don't think most of the people who have fame have really done anything to deserve all the attention they're getting. And many of those who have done something worthy of attention aren't seeking it for themselves anyway.
I would rather be unknown. I don't want to have to wear a mask in public all the time, or have to struggle with knowing when to trust someone enough to let them see behind it.
Not that I'm planning on pursuing anything that will bring me fame anyway. This library stuff - man, I don't know. I'd better write a best-seller pretty quickly if I want to have a more exciting career than this. I just don't know. Well, nobody does, except God. I don't think any of my other college friends know exactly what they're going to do either. Maybe 5% of them. We all know what we want to do of course, but then there's that whole "practicality" issue, and "no guarantees," and fear of failure, and all that other stuff that gets in the way.
But it shouldn't matter. If you're truly speaking honestly, and seeking something other than fame and money, I think people will listen. They can't help but listen. I don't really want money anyway. I want security. Seeking money is just another way to attempt to find security in the wrong place.
It's not about me anyway. Colleges will (directly or indirectly) tell you to do what's best for you, and what will bring you a solid career that you can depend on for the rest of your life. I need to learn to separate the ideals that accompany education from the actual education itself.
Vitality - Tuesday, Aug. 11, 2009