Feeling hollow [Friday, Jan. 28, 2005, 10:18 pm]
Today I spent 7 1/2 hours on my feet at work, and then came home and had about 10 minutes to eat and change before going to Awana for 2 hours to help keep the kids in line. Wah wah wah, listen to me whine.
Actually, I'm not going to whine, because today I realized something. I often say "realized", in reference to things that I usually already know and yet have never given a decent amount of thought time. In this case, I've "realized" that there's no need to get frustrated if the fruits of my labor are not showing up when I want them to.
We live in an "instant" society. If it doesn't work in 5 seconds, who needs it? I'm trying to deviate away from that attitude in a few areas of life, and lately I've tried to become more aware of my attitude towards children: mainly the kids I work with at Awana, but also my siblings.
Sometimes I wonder what good it does to try to teach them things. They're not even listening to me anyway, right? But I keep thinking about a song that I heard at the Awana conference. The chorus goes, "Thank you for giving to the Lord - I am so glad you gave." It's from the perspective of someone who is an adult, and still remembers the efforts put forth by their Biblical teachers during their childhood.
And that just makes me realize that I'm not doing this for the kids, or for myself - I should be doing it for God. And just because it seems like I'm not making any difference in the lives of people around me doesn't mean that I'm not. All I have to do is my job, and God will use it to His glory. Reminds me of my little brothers: My mom will say, "Nathan, go tell Andrew to come down here." So Nathan will go get Andrew and then attempt to physically force him down to where mom is. We have to keep telling him, "Nathan, mom only told you to tell him to come. If he doesn't want to, that's his problem, and mom will deal with him, not you."
I'm just hoping that someone will be positively influenced by something I do - not just at Awana, but anywhere, because being a Christian isn't limited to sitting in a Sunday School classroom. And I need to remember that I won't always see the results of what I do, but it's not my job to try to force them to appear. As Keith Green would say, "Just keep doing your best, and pray that it's blessed - He'll take care of the rest."
Vitality - Tuesday, Aug. 11, 2009