Boy hunting? Not me. [Sunday, Oct. 10, 2004, 8:12 pm]
I think it's funny how I don't mind so much when children ask me personal questions. If an adult came up to me and started drilling me about my love life (or lack thereof), I'd probably be a lot more aloof. Tonight I was helping out with babysitting, while some church folks started a class on "Experiencing God". One little girl was asking me things like, "Are you married?" "Do you have a boyfriend?" "Are you in love with anyone?" "Do you like anyone?" "Why not?"
After answering No to all those questions, it did kinda make me wonder, "why not?" It's not like I really wanted to tell her, "Well...no one's really asked me."
And after hearing that at least 3 or 4 different girls are "looking for a guy", it makes me wonder, are guys actually looking for US too, or is this just a one-sided thing? It feels like it is sometimes.
I don't think this is the kind of thing I've ever talked about here before. It's not that I never think about it, I just usually don't make all of my "problems" public. But I've been thinking a lot about that whole issue of "looking for a guy".
The truth is, no, I haven't "found a guy" yet. To be honest, I don't want to "find a guy". I want a guy to find ME. Because I'm a stupid romantic like that. The bad thing about going with that kind of method is that I have no idea how long it might take. But is that something I really have to worry about now, at 18?
What good would a boyfriend do me now? I really don't want to get married before I get a college degree of some sort, so what would be the point of getting a boyfriend when I'm a Freshman? I don't want to become distracted from my schoolwork - I want to do as well as I can now, while I'm blessed with singleness.
But that doesn't mean I don't get lonely. Yes, even someone as introverted as me, who doesn't really have many friends gets lonely at times. The thing is, I don't want to just use a guy to appease my loneliness. I certainly wouldn't want a guy to use me simply to fulfill his loneliness - I'd want someone who loves me for me. So why would I do that to a guy if I don't want it done to me?
There's only one thing I'm certain of now, (other than the fact that I occasionally get lonely): God knows the desires of my heart. He knows what I want to do with my life. He knows that I want to get married and be a mother someday. Which is why I need to trust His timing, rather than rushing to fulfill my own desires in my time, and ending up with someone who isn't right for me.
Besides, I'm only 18. A few hundred years ago, I would probably be considered an old maid at this age, but times are different now, thankfully ;-)
"Good things come to those that wait, not to those who hesitate."
Vitality - Tuesday, Aug. 11, 2009