Advice from me [Tuesday, Jan. 25, 2005, 5:22 pm]
No, I'm not trying to be Ann Landers or anything. I've just been thinking about mistakes in general - we all make them, even though most days it seems like I make about 50% more than everyone else. So, out of my grand stores of wisdom [sarcasm], I'll share a few of the things that I have learned the hard way, and hopefully someone will learn from them - or at least get a chuckle.
*If a gas pump has a brown paper bag over it, it probably isn't working right.
*Driving test instructors are apparently prohibited from smiling.
*Wearing wet oven mitts when removing things from the oven can be very painful.
*Softballs were improperly named.
*Stairs and other surfaces have a much greater chance of being slippery when covered with ice.
*When taking the SAT, don't just assume you're ahead of the clock - don't stop working on a section of the test unless it clearly says "STOP" at the bottom of the page. Missing even one little reading passage can have a large impact on your score.
*Never sit on the bottom bleacher when viewing an intense or otherwise potentially injurious teenage sporting event.
*Most school desks have a particular side of the aisle in which they are meant to be entered from. Getting in the other side is very difficult.
*When your parents say, "don't touch that electric fence or you'll get a shock," don't touch it.
*Never tell people they look Elvish unless you're absolutely certain that they'll take it as a compliment.
I'm sure there will be MANY more to come, after they happen, or after I think of them.
Vitality - Tuesday, Aug. 11, 2009