The missed TV shows of life [Tuesday, Jan. 10, 2006, 9:51 pm]
I hate doing stupid things. I especially hate how I beat myself up about it afterwards. For some reason I seem to think that's the only alternative to blaming someone else for my mistakes, but it isn't. I can take responsibility and still not be too hard on myself, if what I did wasn't completely under my control.
Sometimes I wish I could become a different person when I worked with customers. Some people seem to have the ability to divide themselves into different "facets" : a love life, a personal life, a professional life, a social life, a spiritual life, a school life, a solitary life, or whatever else. I can't seem to do that. I'm just me in all situations. Of course, I tend to "open up" more when I'm around people I'm comfortable with, but I can't act differently in different circumstances the way some people can. Maybe that can be a good thing, I don't know.
Oh well. I don't have to dwell on things as much as I do. I was reminded of this by my 5-year-old brother a few days ago, who decided to throw a fit when he had to go with my mom somewhere instead of watching Arthur on TV. At that point in time, Arthur was the most important thing to him - he wouldn't even put his feet into his boots because he was too busy crying over it. And the thing is, 5 minutes later he probably forgot about it, once he finally stopped crying and focused on something else.
Sometimes I wonder if God sees us like that. We get so wrapped up in whatever part of our lives is right before us that it becomes our focus, and we, like the crying 5-year-old, allow the rest of time to be ignored for the sake of a missed TV show (or some such thing). I'm so glad the bad things don't have to last forever, and that even if my perspective is so limited, I can be reminded that someone else knows exactly what's going on, and doesn't let me get too caught up in the little things in life that don't matter.
Vitality - Tuesday, Aug. 11, 2009