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Temporary insanity [Thursday, Mar. 13, 2008, 4:03 pm]
Sometimes I realize I'm just going to be really excited when college is over. Yeah, it's been a great time, and I've learned a lot, and been stretched, but I'm getting to the point where I'm just tired of pretending to be some kind of career woman. I'm not. I never will be. I think a lot of this pressure is what I put on myself anyway, but one thing I realized at the career center is that sometimes I can't see the forest for the trees. I like to focus on little things, and doing them well, and then all of a sudden I have to make a whole "career" out of that, and follow a particular track and keep building on it and making a marketable name for myself... I just feel like I can't do things the traditional, "professional" way. Well, I could if I wanted it badly enough, but I just don't. That's not what I want out of life. It's not even a part of my nature. I'm just not cut out to have some huge career and keep fighting for something bigger and better and higher paying. I know it sounds weird, but I get satisfaction out of things like... cooking a good meal... fixing mistakes in things (hence the desire to do proofreading, maybe), getting my feelings down on paper, having a good, genuine (not "professional") conversation with someone, doing things correctly, putting kids to bed, doing an honest day's work, thinking, wondering, growing... Yeah, I'm probably taking things way too seriously, as usual. I'm not trying to be all sappy or hippie-like here. I've done fine in the academic sense. I'm really hoping to graduate with a 3.8 or better and use the skills I've learned in whatever I go on to do in life. I don't know what that is yet, but at least I know what it's not... Miss anything?
Vitality - Tuesday, Aug. 11, 2009 |