Time, time, time, see what's become of me [Monday, Oct. 09, 2006, 7:05 pm]
I've been free-writing, and deleting it, and free-writing some more, and then deleting it again. Because it was so random, and I'm very subtle sometimes when I really want to talk about something, but can't actually bring it up bluntly because. . .I may regret it later, and I may regret telling people something that I'm not even sure of myself.
But it's sneaky to be subtle and mysterious, heeheehee.
Naw, my life isn't that exciting. I really don't have many secrets that anyone would care to know. But that doesn't mean my life is an open book either, because that's dangerous.
I know that there's no way to make a guy trust you. But how do you convince him that it's okay to try? How do you break down the barriers when you can't even remove your own? Maybe I should try being blunt once in a while, instead of constantly shying away and beating around the bush. But then, I don't want to alienate someone.
It would be better to keep a friendship than to do or say something stupid that I'll regret later. I'll be patient. I can't be the one to make the big decisions right now. If things don't develop, why should I think I can speed them up by speaking my mind? Won't work. My mind is tricksie and false - like hobbits.
I'm pretty sure that time and friendship are more trustworthy than feelings, in the long run.
(the title is from Simon & Garfunkel's "Hazy shade of winter")
Vitality - Tuesday, Aug. 11, 2009