Forward, march! Or walk, skip, trot...something [Monday, Jul. 10, 2006, 2:27 pm]
It's hitting me that I have about a month and a half more time to be at home before I'll be living in Gorham for the school year. I've realized that even some of my own siblings don't really know when I'll be leaving, and it will be hardest to explain it to Andrew since he's only 5.
It's also hitting me that I often approach life and relationships the same way I play volleyball. If the ball comes right to me, I can hit it over the net, but if it's not close to me I usually expect someone else to get it, and I certainly don't do enough diving or reaching. I could use a healthy dose of aggression sometimes.
I think I'm way overdue to get away from home. I love it here, and I love my family, my job, my church. . . and therein lies the problem. I don't have to go after anything if I don't want to. I don't want to sound overly eager to move out. Once it happens, I'll probably wish I could be here again. But I can appreciate this last month and still know that this isn't the best place for me to be anymore.
I need to grow up. And I can't fully do that while I'm living here. Perhaps I wasn't ready to leave after high school graduation. I didn't even get my driver's license until a month after college started, for pete's sakes. I'm thinking it would have done me better to transfer after my freshman year though, but I didn't really get on the ball with that.
Can't go back now. Only forward. And it's about time I started doing that...
Vitality - Tuesday, Aug. 11, 2009