A fun entry [Monday, May. 16, 2005, 2:34 pm]
Apparently I've been "tagged" by MyOwnJourney. So I have to list my ten favorite things and then tag some more people. Well, here goes...
1. God, of course. It would be kinda hard to exist without Him.
Although the ones I make have a bit more filling in them. And I make them in different sizes - some are about the diameter of an orange or something - others are even wider than a CD. One of these days I'll try to get up a photo of one that I've actually made.
Anyway, I thought I'd put up some humorous definitions today - although some of them are actually quite true. And believe it or not, I actually got these out of a BOOK rather than the internet. Amazing.
Admiration: Our polite recognition of another person's resemblance to ourselves.
Adolescent: A teenager who acts like a baby when you don't treat him like an adult.
Americans: People with more timesaving devices and less time than any other people in the world.
Bore: Someone who, upon leaving a room, makes you feel that someone fascinating just walked in.
Budget: A method of worrying before you spend as well as afterward.
Clarity: The ability to give directions without taking your hands out of your pockets.
Critic: A legless man who teaches running.
Dentist: A magician who puts metal into your mouth, and pulls coins out of your pocket.
Diet: The penalty for exceeding the feed limit.
Diplomacy: The art of saying "nice doggie" until you have time to pick up a rock.
Disarmament: An agreement between nations to scuttle all weapons that are obsolete.
Economist: A man who knows more about money than the people who have it.
Editor: A person employed on a newspaper, whose business is to separate the wheat from the chaff - and see that the chaff is printed.
Efficiency Expert: The person who is smart enough to tell you how to run your own business, and too smart to start one of his own.
Experience: The name we give our mistakes.
Hospital Bed: A parked taxi with the meter running.
Ignoramus: Someone who doesn't know something that you learned yesterday.
Life insurance: A contract that keeps you poor so you can die rich.
Market Analyst: A person who tells you what is going to happen within six months, and then after that tells you why it didn't.
Murderer: One who is presumed innocent until he is proven insane.
Oratory: The art of making deep noises from the chest sound like important messages from the brain.
Pacifist: A guy who fights with everybody but the enemy.
Past Tense: When you used to be nervous.
Planning: The art of putting off until tomorrow what you have no intention of doing today.
Sarcasm: Barbed ire.
Statistician: A liar who can figure.
Tact: 1). Thinking all you say without saying all you think. 2). The art of saying nothing when there is nothing to say.
University: An institution for the postponement of experience.
Virus: A Latin medical term meaning, "Your guess is as good as mine."
Yawn: A silent shout.
"Even since we said "I do" there have been so many things we don't."
-I Love Lucy-
Vitality - Tuesday, Aug. 11, 2009