Chickens [Saturday, Apr. 23, 2005, 3:00 pm]
I feel like talking about chickens today. Just blame it on Napoleon Dynamite. Stupid movie.
Well, my family used to keep chickens back when we had a big chicken coop on our property. I would say that chickens are some of the stupidest creatures out there - not that I've experienced raising every creature out there, but that's beside the point. Ever seen the movie "Chicken Run?" Well chickens really are like that. The only difference is that they don't use technology and they can't speak English.
On two separate occasions, we raised about 100 chickens for meat, which took about 3 months. Actually, it's the meat chickens that are stupid. The egg-layers have a lot more brains. For example, I remember once seeing a meat chicken walking toward a corner in the fence, and she/he/it kept going towards the corner, looking both ways to see where to go and was trapped because it couldn't figure it out. It never occurred to its stupid brain to just turn around.
Some of the chickens would come out into their little chicken yard during the day and go back in at night, but every night there would always be about 15 of them that didn't have the sense to go back in, and one of my jobs was to chase the stupid creatures around, shove them back in the chicken coop, and close the door. Usually they'd just come back out again, so we needed two people to get the job done - one would open and close the door so the chickens didn't get out, and the other would be the chicken-chaser. Collecting eggs was just so much easier.
One of my favorite things to do with the chickens was to feed them bugs. This was back before I became deathly afraid to touch bugs. My siblings and I had so much fun looking around for grasshoppers and crickets, and throwing them into the pen to see the chickens eat them. I remember the joy of finding super-huge inch-long grasshoppers that filled my entire fist when caught, and provided above-average entertainment when the chickens all attacked it and pulled it apart. Yes, we were such violent children. I could talk about helping out with the bloody slaughtering of our 100 meat chickens, but I suppose this is already long enough. Maybe some other time.
By the way, does anyone know if it's possible to get a screensaver of Napoleon doing that dance near the end of the movie? I think that would make a very entertaining screensaver, personally.
Napoleon Dynamite: "I see you're drinking 1% [milk]. Is that 'cause you think you're fat? 'Cause you're not. You could be drinking whole if you wanted to."
Vitality - Tuesday, Aug. 11, 2009