One step at a time...I'll get there eventually [Thursday, Jun. 10, 2004, 8:33 pm]
Today was interesting. I had an ultrasound at physical therapy this morning. Don't worry, that's not as bad as it sounds. It was on my face anyway, not my stomach. I think the idea was to help loosen up some muscles - weird, cuz I'd never heard of an ultrasound being used for anything other than...the other use. It was cool though - and that gel stuff felt kinda weird.
Well, I got my first paycheck a few days ago. It was about $14. But my next one will be a lot more. Hey, it's a start. I'm going to need all the money I can get when it comes time to pay for tuition and books. Very good news as far as that goes though: The community college I'm planning to attend has offered to pay half my tuition for all 4 years, if I can keep a 2.50 GPA. That will definitely help us out. I still don't know how many years I'll be going there - hopefully only one, but it's a welcome gift anyway. I was thinking I'd applied too late to get any type of aid, but I guess I was wrong.
Tomorrow will be the only weekday this week that I'll get to sleep in. This summer is certainly going to be a lot different than any other summer I've had. My other summers were nothing but freedom. I'd sleep in til 9 every single weekday, lay around the house daydreaming, go on the computer for as long as my parents would let me, make bracelets, play outside, read, etc. etc.
I still might do some of those things, but this summer I'll be working, hopefully even into the Fall. I might be getting my license this summer too. And I'll be preparing for college. This will also be my last summer in youth group. Even though I'm not actually 'going away' anywhere, like I'd first anticipated, in some ways it feels like I will be, because I'll be outgrowing so many things that I've been used to doing for so long.
But enough about that. Sometimes I think I focus too much on what the past was and what I want the future to be, instead of focusing on what I can be doing right now. Sometimes I seem to want to take life in leaps and bounds, instead of one step at a time. Maybe if I only did it that way, it would seem less confusing.
I don't know...there are so many different ways to dissect life that I'm getting confused just thinking about all the stuff I haven't even typed yet.
But I can sleep in tomorrow - I don't have to work until 2:30. That's the next step I have to take. But I won't even bother trying to keep my brain from wandering until then.
"Maria, these walls were not meant to shut out problems. You have to face them. You have to live the life you were born to live."
-The Reverend Mother, from The Sound of Music
Vitality - Tuesday, Aug. 11, 2009