Overcoming myself [Saturday, Jun. 05, 2004, 8:17 pm]
I love being home alone. My family's at a church softball game, so I got to make myself some pasta for dinner without having to make any for 8 more people, go online for a bit, and watch "Meet me in St. Louis" with Judy Garland. At least, she was in it, I didn't watch it with her.
I had my second day of work today, and it went well. I don't know why I get so worked up before I do anything out of the ordinary. Maybe anxiety runs in my family or something. But to be honest, ever since my whole 'fainting/emergency room' episode, I've been afraid of passing out again. And I haven't, thankfully, but I've felt like it once or twice. Now I've decided to take my gatorade with me almost all the time, just in case.
I don't know what it is with me and worrying. It seems like every time I worry about something, it ends up fine, but I can't seem to help worrying beforehand anyway. I keep telling myself that it's not going to help any, but it's like worrying is my instinct.
I did find a way to help myself today though. It was 3 hours before I had to go in to work, and I was worrying my head off. So I just decided to try to help myself relax. I watched a few of my favorite scenes from "A night at the opera", and laughed as much as I could. And then I read a little bit from a book called "Living it down by laughing it up" - full of stories of embarrassing moments. And it actually helped.
I hear it all that time, that laughter is the best medicine, and it really is true. That's my problem - I take things too seriously. I know that's kind of the opposite of most teenagers these days, like when it comes to drugs, driving, sex, etc. Most kids don't seem to take things seriously enough, but I'm the opposite. I didn't take driver's ed til I was 16, and a few times I even questioned whether I really wanted to learn to drive or not, just because of the danger.
But I think I'm learning (slowly and surely as always) that sometimes it's just better to sit back and take whatever life gives me, instead of worrying about what might happen. Because by avoiding things and worrying about them, I may avoid some misfortunes, but I'll also miss out on so much more.
So I'm going to try to relax more. And I'm so thankful for good clean humor that I can laugh at. Seriously, when I was laughing today I could just feel the tension going away.
Well, the family's back, so I'd better go now!
Gollum: "It's the only way. Go in, or go back." Frodo: "I can't go back."-Return of the King
Vitality - Tuesday, Aug. 11, 2009