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Christian
English Major
Writer
Thinker of odd things

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No regrets [Sunday, Mar. 30, 2008, 2:39 pm]

There are times when I have been skeptical hearing people proclaim that, after all that they have been through in life, they have �no regrets.� Sometimes I wonder how it�s possible to arrive at that place. The way I see it, to truly live and then look back and claim to have no regrets would mean that either, a). you�ve never done anything regret-worthy, b) you have done regret-worthy things, but choose not to focus on them, or c). you have no distinction between right and wrong, and so nothing feels regret-worthy anyway.

I suppose b is what I would consider the healthiest way to look at it, if done correctly. I certainly have some regrets in life - maybe pathetic ones, but I�ve still done bad things and made choices that probably weren�t the best to make at the time - so how could I look back and say I have no regrets for any of it?

Sometimes I think the distinction lies in the way we look at the past, not in the way we wish it had turned out. I can look back and say "I�m not perfect and I�ve made mistakes, and so I have a bunch of regrets piled up that I try not to think about but can�t really avoid," or I can say "I�m not perfect and I�ve made mistakes, but I�ve dealt with those mistakes productively, and therefore I have no regrets about the place I�m in now." I think maybe that�s what this "no regrets" declaration is about - not so much in overlooking the mistakes you�ve made, but in learning from them and appreciating who you are because of the experience. It doesn�t have to be the same thing as rationalizing the mistakes, or making excuses and pretending they didn�t happen.

So in that sense, yes, I think that having no regrets is a decent goal to aim for. Not perfection, rationalization, or moral relativity, but rather acceptance - realizing that the things that happened, as ignoble as they may be, are already past, and that I wouldn�t be who I am now without them. So really, it�s not what the regrets do to you - it�s what you do with them. I�ve often thought about this topic, but I think it�s helped me to organize it in writing this way - it makes more sense to me now.

And on that note, I must confess that I often write for the sake of getting something out, or organizing my thoughts. I realize looking back that a lot of my entries are about problems I�m having, or things I�m unsure of or insecure about, and sometimes I�m afraid I come across as maybe a little emotionally unstable in the world of blogging. Admittedly, sometimes when I�m dealing with something that�s really very specific and don�t feel I can talk about it specifically, I�ll instead talk about more general and idealistic problems that relate to it - so I�m not really having huge identity crises all the time. I really hope that�s not how things appear, because I would like to think that I�m on a rather even keel for the most part, emotionally - in fact, perhaps this is why - because I�m able to write things out, I don�t go berserk in real life :-D I�m not saying I�m never insecure in person - I am sometimes - but I don�t go around wailing and bemoaning the pressures of life the way I do here. So if I sound pathetic and repeat myself a lot, I apologize. This is just my way of dealing with pressure sometimes - I show it here so I can release it, and thus (hopefully) not show it everywhere else.

wander -- travel

Miss anything?

Vitality - Tuesday, Aug. 11, 2009
Soulfest 2009 - Sunday, Aug. 02, 2009
Politics and Poverty - Friday, Jul. 24, 2009
Michael Jackson - Monday, Jun. 29, 2009
Elegy for Spotty - Wednesday, Jun. 24, 2009