No V's today [Friday, Feb. 15, 2008, 10:52 pm]
It would appear that I haven't updated in several days. I don't like it when that happens, but at the same time I would rather not write anything than just get on here and complain, or continue to rehash all the things I've already said before. Perhaps that's why I haven't done a "Valentine's Day entry" yet.
Again, there isn't much to say that I haven't said already. I'm single, and I like it that way right now. I can look back on the nearly 4 years of college that I've been through and thank God that I've been able to avoid male entanglements for the most part. It could have been so much worse.
I haven't had a lot of confidence most of the time, but it's grown while I've been away at school. I've realized that sure, I'm a little weird, but I'm not undesirable. I'm sure many of us have gone through times (and still do) when we've thought we must be completely repulsive to the opposite sex (usually after some kind of failed affection), and in some ways it's a normal reaction. But I know I don't have to worry about that - the less I worry about how I'm perceived, the less it seems to matter to others as well - the real issue is making sure to not end up with the wrong person; at least, that's how I see it now.
I always thought that people who were afraid of commitment were those who were just afraid of marriage in general, and that because I want to get married someday, I wouldn't be affected by that. Not true. But I think that a healthy dose of fear about committing your life to someone is a good thing. It's not something that should be done lightly. At the same time, the reason dating exists is so we won't have to make a lifetime commitment to the first person we ever click with. I don't know entirely where I'm going with this, but I guess the point is that I don't need to be afraid of the risk involved in commitment. At the same time, it's good to be choosy. I'd much rather be selective than end up in a relationship that's not right, just because I wanted to be in one.
In other news... I'm on break now, finally. I'm babysitting little brothers this weekend, which hasn't been too bad so far. I found out that my checking account was overdrawn last week, for the first time ever. It was only for a few hours, but I was still charged a fee, and am kinda devastated at myself for failing to keep tabs on everything - usually I pride myself on detail-orientedness, so I don't know how that one slipped through. Oh well. I have money now. I'll survive the humiliation, I suppose.
Vitality - Tuesday, Aug. 11, 2009