Still single on V-day - but the chocolate still tastes the same [Tuesday, Feb. 13, 2007, 6:51 pm]
Tomorrow is Valentine's Day, and I'm not going to be depressed about it. All things considered, I know I could have a boyfriend right now if that was all I wanted from life - if I was only interested in external things and the "status symbol" aspect of dating. But I'm not, and therefore I'm okay being single again on Valentine's Day. I'm just kinda used to getting chocolate from my parents at this point. I guess they still feel sorry for me.
Not every Valentine's Day has been mediocre for me though. There's one in particular that stands out in my mind. I would have to say that the best Valentine's Day gift I ever got was given the year that I was 14.
There was a boy from my church whom I was good friends with, and saw fairly often - and on this particular day I happened to be in the living room watching something on TV with my siblings. He came over briefly, and while our moms were talking, he came in confidently and handed me a lovely yellow rose and said "Happy Valentine's Day." I think I managed to stammer something unintelligible, like "oh...thanks" before he went away, but overall I was quite dumbfounded. I just turned bright pink and then ran up to my room to find some water for it. I'd picked up on hints that he kinda liked me, but I was still very surprised that he would do something like that.
But besides the surface embarrassment, I felt some kind of happiness inside that I'd never felt before. I felt special. And maybe a little less gawky and invisible than I'd felt before. Looking back on it now, I really don't know what he saw in me. I was pretty much the most awkward adolescent to walk the face of the earth. But then, both of us were far from "average" teenagers - we liked discussing serious things. Maybe that was it.
Even though yellow roses are said to symbolize friendship, that boy probably understood a little more about love than a lot of men my age do now. He didn't demand anything from me. He never even asked me out. It was probably a wise move too, because most people aren't mature enough for a relationship at that age. A few years later I developed a crush on someone else, and that may have been part of it too, but I see something wonderful in the simplicity of the gift and the action - that he was willing to go out of his way to give me something, without asking for anything in return.
He was definitely a good friend. And things change - he went away to college 3 years later, and I haven't seen him in about that many years, but I know he's engaged now, and I wish him all the best. I hope I've become somewhat less gawky in that span of time, but I still appreciate the gift and the meaning behind it, even moreso than I was capable of at that age. All things considered, it was definitely the best Valentine's present I've been given. And when it comes down to it, I wouldn't want a diamond or a dozen red roses or even dark chocolate, if the guy giving it wasn't as selfless and generous as that kid was.
Maybe someday it will happen in a mature and mutual setting. Until then, I'm perfectly capable of buying my own dark chocolate.
Vitality - Tuesday, Aug. 11, 2009