Time to be smart again [Saturday, Jul. 15, 2006, 9:11 pm]
I'm in a hmmmmmmm kind of mood tonight. I dunno, usually I'm pretty stable. Actually, I generally stick to one of around 3 different emotions: happiness, sadness, or righteous anger, the latter usually appearing around the same time every month - hmmmm.
I've been told I'm smart by some people, but I'm really not in a lot of areas. I mean, doing well in school is just getting the work done and in on time. Maybe there's some smartness involved in that too, but I think a lot of it is just habit and obligation more than anything else.
It's just when I think through something I've done and realize "wow, that was dumb - I knew better than that," I start to wonder. Not the spur-of-the-moment flub-ups that everyone makes. I mean things I had time to think about. I know, everyone makes mistakes too. But it's immature to use that as an excuse for making them.
I have no excuses. Well, I have plenty, but none that hold water. I've done things that weren't smart, and I just hope I'll learn from them in the future. I'm not a victim. I'm just a person who needs to start applying smartness to more than one area of life now & then.
I think sometimes we like to be victims simply because the only other option would be to admit that we're at fault for something. And I'm not saying it's easy to do that. Blaming one's self can get out of hand too though. I wasn't the only one to make a mistake. So there, I guess I really don't know what I want to say.
Let's just say this: I'm not stupid. I will only be stupid if I make the same mistake twice. And that's not something I plan on doing.
Vitality - Tuesday, Aug. 11, 2009