The pathway of life [Wednesday, Jun. 01, 2005, 5:05 pm]
I just realized that as of yesterday, I've officially been working at the diner/store for an entire year. It seems like I've been there forever. I pretty much do the same things each day I work (with a little variation), so it's hard to remember a time when I didn't do them.
Still, I can remember the first day I worked there (I only earned about $14), and how scared I was of the big oven in the diner. It's about as tall as I am, and the interior is around twice the size of our normal oven at home.
But now I lift the huge trays in and out with no trace of terror, simply because I've become used to doing it.
And sometimes that bothers me. That I get so used to doing things a certain way that I just don't want to change. I live out in the "country," where there's much less "excitement" than in a big city, and I prefer it this way. It's nice to be close to nature (just not too close to the mosquitoes).
I've worked at the same little hole-in-the-wall for a year now. I've attended the same little community college for almost a year now. Part of me says I could just keep doing this until I graduate, but another part says that there's so much more I could have if I only went after it.
Life has often been compared to a pathway. Some run, rushing through everything and achieve greatness but never take time to smell the roses. Some spend all their time smelling the roses and never do anything worth remembering. And everyone else is in between somewhere. I think I'm more of a "plodder." I don't run, walk, skip, hop, or creep. I just plod along waiting for things to happen, and worrying about how I'll respond if they do.
Perhaps I'm not expecting enough out of life, or myself. Perhaps the things that terrify me now will also become routine if I resolve to do them more often. Or perhaps I just spend too much time analyzing things and comparing my life to those of others. There's nothing wrong with enjoying the small things of life, but is it right to stay in among the rose bushes and never venture out to the highway? But perhaps I simply work better among the roses, and would only get run over if I wandered too far away from my calling.
Perhaps I use the word "perhaps" way too often.
"Always be a first-rate version of yourself instead of a second-rate version of someone else."
Vitality - Tuesday, Aug. 11, 2009