Does this personality make me look weird? [Saturday, Aug. 21, 2004, 1:57 pm]
Do you ever notice how, when someone first mentions the name of someone you know, you automatically picture them in your mind? Sometimes it's a physical picture, but a lot of the time, there's more to it.
Sometimes you think thoughts about them, the moment you hear their name. Maybe their personality or demeanor is the first thing that comes to mind. Maybe it's the last thing they said to you, or did for you.
Sometimes I wonder - what do people think when they hear my name? What's the first thing that comes to their minds when the name 'Laura' is mentioned? (Or Eowyn86, or whatever the case may be).
What mental picture appears in their heads when they hear my name? Is it my appearance? Is it my awkwardness? Is it something nice I once did for them? I don't know.
I should stop trying to get into people's heads, because I think it does me more harm than good. But still, it's something I wonder about.
Because I know how I see myself. And I've begun to realize that others don't see me the same way that I do - because I'm the only one who really knows myself. And I've found that my perception of others is often completely different from the way they seem to view themselves.
Have I confused anyone yet?
You know what? I think that if it was possible to get inside someone else's head and find out how they really view themselves, it would be surprisingly similar to our own views of ourselves. But because we can't do that, we often think we're more different and "weird" than we really are, compared to "others".
Maybe "the others" don't view me as strangely as I sometimes think they do. At least those who know me personally. It's a lot harder to really see who someone is when all you do is read their writing.
All right, enough confusion. I think too much.
"All of us failed to match our dreams of perfection. So I rate us on the basis of our splendid failure to do the impossible."
Vitality - Tuesday, Aug. 11, 2009