Here's reality for ya... [Tuesday, May. 25, 2004, 3:44 pm]
Now I think I'm beginning to understand why a private school just wouldn't work out for this family. Today I went to see an orthadontist who said I need phyiscal therapy for my jaw, because he thinks the problem is in the muscle, and not the joint. And after that, we'll probably need to correct the way my teeth come together. Yikes. And I've always looked at physical therapy as something for people who were recovering from car accidents or illnesses, or something like that.
I went to the eye doctor's today too, for a contact fitting. It took him several tries to get the first one in. I think it's because my eye instinctively did not want anything put into it, even though my brain was trying to tell it that it was ok. Yeah, I think it's going to be a while before I'll be able to do it by myself, although I doubt I'll ever be wearing contacts every day. But the thing is, as soon as the first one was in, and even after I was wearing both contacts, I started feeling really dizzy. Or maybe very nauseous. However I describe it, I was almost wondering if I was going to pass out again. My mom said I looked pale and asked me a few times if I was okay.
So, I decided NOT to wear them home. Still, it's nice to have contacts. If I can ever figure out how to get them in by myself, and clean them, and walk around while wearing them without feeling faint, then they might come in handy someday. Just in case they don't, I'm getting updated glasses too. I got to pick out new frames, and I like them a lot better than the ones I have now.
So yeah, after wisdom teeth, the emergency room, contacts, glasses, physical therapy, and possible braces...I'm beginning to wonder if I'll be able to go to school this year at all! And the University of Maine is raising tuition costs again this year; isn't that wonderful? I think I'll just get married after I turn 18, and then move out to the country and have a little farm. I could raise my own food, and sell homegrown veggies, & stuff like that. All I'd need for communication purposes is my laptop and a phone line. Wouldn't that be nice? No traffic, no stressful office job, no need to shell out thousands of $$ for an education...*sigh*.
Ok, I'll come back to reality. I need to do that more often. I like to dream, but once you get to a certain age, some things should be recognized as make-believe. So often, I hear adults telling kids, "You can be anything you want to be." And I wish they'd stop it, cuz it's just a lie. Wanting to be something isn't going to get you anywhere. Hard work might, but even then, there's a limit to what you can do with your own talent. You may "want" to be something that requires talents or skills that God just didn't give you. You can't go against that, no matter how much you "want" to.
Hopefully I'm learning to be a bit more realistic. Something tells me I'll never get my head completely out of the clouds, and that's all right with me, but I can't avoid reality forever. Well, I can, but I'm discovering it's not a good idea.
Vitality - Tuesday, Aug. 11, 2009